The Juggle Struggle
To be read as an infomercial.
“Are you a full time working parent trying to keep your family alive, fed, clothed, lessoned, learned and loved? But also remain relevant and cutting edge in your career field while climbing the corporate ladder? And look amazing? Hair done, make up flawless, trendy outfit, regimented workout schedule….And who fed the dog today? Has he been out? Is that pee on the floor? Did you pay your library fine? Is the Dishwasher clean? Does this smell musty?”
Cool. Cool. Me too.
I’m super tired. Like everyday.
The problem is I love working. I also love being a parent. So I keep doing both. Yet always feeling like I’m failing at both. I know it’s not true but I feel like that’s my truth…. if that makes sense? We all feel like we can multitask but in reality, I forget, drop balls, half ass things….I honestly could not say I put in 100% effort into anything- I get it done. Check the box. Move to the next burning building.
But that right there made me start to think. Maybe that’s ok? Maybe getting things done is how we survive the multi-tasking? And maybe….just maybe we need to learn to say NO more. And maybe prioritizing the aspects of our lives that make us happy, satiated and at peace will make us less tired and more energized.
I recently started working remotely from home. This was a complete lifestyle change. I had been working in a building downtown for the past 7 1/2 years with a 1 hour commute to and from the office each day. I would walk right into busy traffic in the halls. There would be people bustling about, grabbing coffee, chatting about the weekend and you could hear the click clack of typing in every direction. It was busy, loud and energetic. It was invigorating but I felt exhausted at the end of each day. I would come home and operate in zombie mode the rest of the evening until it was time for bed. This shift to remote work has opened my eyes to a feeling that I believe we all suffer from.
The feeling of “Busy.” We are praised for being busy. Perceptions and decisions are based off of how busy a person looks. I became a professional busy person. I thought that was my goal or at least what I was supposed to be doing. BE BUSY! ALL OF THE TIME AND YOU WIN!
When in fact, it’s the complete opposite. Those who aren’t running around like chickens with their heads cut off are winning. The still ones. The ones with a calm and delayed response. The ones taking in the surroundings, pausing a moment to truly think and be mindful are ahead of the game. They think. You know what they also do? They conscientiously eliminate the noise. The recognize what is fluff, unnecessary and means nothing to the big picture and they remove it.
I went to drinks with a girlfriend the other night. She recently made a job change and took 4 weeks off in between. She spent her time taking hikes alone and walking in the woods and learning more about herself. She said to me, “I realized that in leaving my job of 4 years, many of the routines I had, processes I put in place and things I thought were DIRE to the operation, will leave with me. And no one will even think twice. In reality, none of it mattered. I thought it did. I would sacrifice time with my family, cancel dates with friends, basically do whatever it takes, just to keep all of the plates spinning at work. But it doesn’t matter.”
That spoke to me.
I’m not saying quit doing your job and focus on your love of bass fishing everyday! But what I am saying is take a GOOD, HARD look at everything you are doing every single day and ask yourself, “What are the things that really matter and what can I eliminate from my plate to make room for the pieces that make me happy?”
I am slowly starting to do this. What really matters? I want to spend more time with my family and more time First of all, now that I have the luxury of working remotely, and I know not many do but I did gain 2 hours everyday from eliminating my commute. I have started using this time to make my daughter’s lunch in the morning- something I didn’t have time for before but I enjoy it. I also will sit alone for about 10 minutes in the morning and write down 3 things I’m grateful for. I also stepped down from a local board I was on. It was a wonderful cause but not only required 2 meetings per month but also the homework that came with it was taking away from my family time.
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